Happiness Beasts are rare creatures, made from the same elements as we, star matter.
Few have been graced by their presence. Knowing where they come from and what their purpose is can help us better understand these fascinating beings.
A Beast in Its Natural Habitat — Planet Cheecherindo
On a planet Cheecherindo, the fronds list sideways, the dew globes float gently across the gleets. Gravity weighs less here, it’s an optimal environment for beasts.
The air is thick like laughter and the chief gargantuan lords over the terrarium where happiness beasts are born.
Training begins immediately for the nubile beasts. Their explicit purpose is to engender joy and freedom for the beam family they will be assigned to upon graduation.
Training Protocol:
The young beasts yawn and jiggle themselves awake, their jowls slapping, their tails vibrating. The beasts must be able to bounce at least 3 meters, body carbonation is key to this endeavor. Garage psych rock gurgles around the terrarium all day and night. The beasts must acclimate to the thrill and distraction of modern life on earth.
They catch berries with their elastic tongues that their trainers slingshot. Primary nourishment consists of tall birthday cake milkshakes that they slug all morning and night. This helps the beasts grow their rind while boosting confidence.
Beasts know there’s a strong possibility that they will meet a dreaded sarcastic monk once they take their charges with their beam family. These altercations are boisterous and threatening to a happiness beast — if they act rashly and drive-by bite a sarcastic monk, they could be ejected back to Cheecherindo at which point they would be cemented in the ground, joining the moss to grow future happiness beasts.
Rollerpointing Ceremony:
An echelon of brave beasts is ready for the rollerpointing ceremony in which chief gargantuan coordinates the residencies. The cow of appreciation lows his approval as the beasts find their beams. Chief smacks their bums and they’re rocketed down the light highway and beamed into the living room of their respective family.
Arrival — Beamed Into the Light Highway
This beast does a gleeful bounce upon arrival and stretches his toes. He needs someone to hold his sore feet, white with hot light. The family squeezes him and the beast squirms for space to do his big protecting and puffs his chest for a beast grunt.
‘ERG ERG MOFF MEEF’
he chorts aloud. The house is safe, the family glows and giggles.